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An addictive feeling

Some of my friends are unknowingly embarking upon the last weekend of their undergraduate lives. And I am sitting in my room pondering over issues of life, friendship, relations and poetry – as if it’s any other weekend.

I can’t call it Madras as I was not with it when it was so called. So I prefer Chennai. Chennai is getting hot and humid. I vaguely remember the weather an year ago – very humid. I really can’t say if it’s worse this year. But it’s gradually crossing the bearable limits. The spark that lives in humans tempts them towards unseen situations and undone acts. Blame it on that spark, I wanted to stay in Chennai for at least one complete summer. This is just one of the incomplete wishes that I will carry from my own undergraduate life.

If you think that I am about to graduate, you are wrong. I still have one year of college life to be lived. The difference is, rather will be, the absence of some of the closest friends who have been with me since last four years. So, though the graduation gown and all the worries of professional lives are a year away, you think you should give a thought to the fact that for some people, it’s the last weekend of their undergraduate lives. More so, when you think these are the people who will be remembered and missed more than anyone else on earth.

I never remember seeing a starry night sky in Chennai. The night sky here contains very few of those tiny twinkling dots, unlike other places. Sometimes when I lie down on the terrace wall looking at the sky, I miss all those stars. When I came to Chennai, it was as if some stars were left behind. I shudder at the thought of blank, star-less sky which will haunt me for the next one year.

Apart from that, everything will be the same. It will rain again and people will enjoy the rains from their hostel corridors. College festival organizers will again celebrate their hard work. Exams will again be screwed. Birthday cakes will again be ordered. People will again be worried about jobs. They will still watch movies and sitcoms. Hostel nites will be celebrated again. Treats will be offered again. Yellow leaves will again adorn the grounds beneath the trees. But they say happiness is created by people and not the place. The kind of people who are the most highly qualified for creating it will be missed, every time one of those very normal things occur again.

As the list of things done for the last time appears to be exhausted, wishes begin to show up. However bad it may feel to be never satisfied, it still is an addictive feeling. However hard someone tries to say that it’s just a transition from one phase of life to another, the misery of separation is an addictive feeling. However boldly someone tries to say that they are happy for what they had for all those years, looking beyond their words and finding an inevitable drop in their eyes is an addictive feeling.

  1. Tattu
    April 25, 2009 at 1:31 am

    😦 this is called exact documentation of feelings!

  2. April 25, 2009 at 1:35 am

    The starless nights will definitely haunt, but don’t make me cry when there is still time…. everyone is counting .. last hostel nite, last schroeter, last exam, last weekend, ….. but still there is time for our first, probably last separation …

  3. April 25, 2009 at 1:36 am

    What to say yaar… I am one of those who are trying to take it in a positive way. But its there in all our discussions. What you said about the people is very true… I was comparing the 2 videos made for Adieu this year, and realized why I love to see the one with the Matt Harding concept. Both of them showed different aspects of life here, and different places, but the later shows the Matt one shows the people who have been with me at those places. After I pass out I will have a new life somewhere else. I can always come back to the campus and stay here with you guys, but the feeling of belongingness will keep receding. Its you guys who made it memorable man… And i salute to the quote from one of the wing videos from Mandakini hostel ‘Don’t cry because its over, smile because it happened’

    Will miss you!

  4. shruti
    April 25, 2009 at 1:43 am

    hmm..u win..i get it..but remember no matter where we are and how much ever time passes by, some things will never change..and i knw that u knw this need not be said.
    leaving behind these cherished memories is painful, agreed. but wt lies ahead is exciting too..and it wud be more worthwhile becz wtevr we take on now, it will be with each others’ presence in our lives

  5. Bharat
    April 25, 2009 at 1:44 am

    You summed it all..
    But then stars are always there !

  6. Doodh
    April 25, 2009 at 1:58 am

    I dont want to think about it until it happens to me …Separation be it inevitable is sometimes good that it brings you closer to the person ,,,someone whos company you assumed when he was here but now you are made to remember

  7. April 25, 2009 at 6:57 am

    Oh! Is the heat too much on the top floor? I’ll have to stay there next semester. 😐

    I still have 2 years of college life remaining, but even I feel a shiver when I think of separation from all my friends here. But it’s inevitable, isn’t it? As Neta bhai said, “Don’t cry because its over, smile because it happened!”

  8. April 25, 2009 at 9:47 am

    Dude i will be working in adyar so close to IIT , though the hostel feeling will not be there but just wait and watch for the weekends i will be here . This place has been an inspiration especially you all and we will be all but togehter.
    Just another point is that i will be staying in july in the hostels only just because the place is so good and the last weekend then will be the last weekend. But for friends who are graduating and are not in chennai , we will miss you a lot.

  9. April 25, 2009 at 9:48 am

    By the way forgot to mention this post is very beautifully written man , too good.

  10. Narain
    April 25, 2009 at 10:18 am

    These are the part of life dost, we must learn to bear it. Change makes life get going, sometimes favorable and sometimes unfavorable. We have adjusted many times with the change in past and have to keep on adjusting.
    Few years before we suffered separation of our parents and now the similar feelings..

    phool khilte hain, log milte hain
    jindigi mein jo phool murjha jate hain
    wo baharon ke aane se khilte nahi
    umra bhar chahe le ke pukara karo unka naam

  11. gaurav
    April 25, 2009 at 12:14 pm

    “Separation gives the chance to meet people again”. My best wishes and emotional adieu to all passing out Friends.

  12. Amrit
    April 25, 2009 at 3:50 pm

    All this post does is to remind me that I will be passing out next year and have to suffer a ‘professional life’

  13. Baba
    April 25, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    Separation teaches us to cherish every moment in future whenever we meet however small it be.

    As you said: “Happiness is created by people not by the place”
    So As long as we are there on this mighty earth happiness will always prevail among us πŸ™‚

  14. April 26, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    liked the post..what makes one sad usually spurs another to move on….its all in the head!!

  15. April 28, 2009 at 6:20 pm

    We will always be around… I guess we have done enough pranks together to keep us remember them, discuss them and laugh over them together:)

  1. May 9, 2010 at 3:49 pm

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